Tuesday, 16 October 2012


Notorious bon vivant Tallulah Bankhead - who died in 1968 at the age of 66
 - once said, "My father warned me about men and booze, but he never mentioned a word about women and cocaine."

Summer has faded and it’s now time to show off your new wardrobe during Montreal’s über-hot autumn cocktail season. But do you possess the requisite glamour quotient to book a room at the Betty Ford Clinic? To find out, answer the following quiz…

Studio 54 logo designed by Gilbert Lesser
If you could travel back in time, you would go to:
a) Nirvana’s Foufounes performance.
b) Woodstock.
c) Studio 54.

Your name is not on the guest list at a nightclub. What do you say to the doorman?
a) Sorry for the trouble.
b) Do you know who I am?
c) I could have you shot, bitch.

You feel sexually attracted to your best friend (of the same sex). Do you tell him/her?
a) Never!
b) Only if he/she is gay.
c) Only is he/she is hot!

Are you seeing someone right now?
a) I’m single, but there’s someone I want to sleep, uh, be with.
b) I’m in a long-term quasi-monogamous relationship.
c) Honey, I’m seeing everyone right now…

Your best friend gets dumped by their long-time partner or lover, so you:
a) Tell your friend, "Snap out of it! You’re giving depression a bad name!"
b) Tell them, "If all else fails, lower your standards. I did, and look at me!"
c) Go over to their place with Tahitian French vanilla ice cream you bought at Laura Secord, talk them into incinerating their ex and blast Tina Turner’s Better Be Good to Me on the stereo.

Tallulah Bankhead
Who said "Cocaine isn’t habit forming. I should know – I’ve been using it for years"?
a) Actress Tallulah Bankhead.
b) Your dealer.
c) The trick you tried to pick up in a toilet stall last night.

Which line most appropriately describes your worldview?
a) I used to snort coke but the bottle kept getting stuck up my nose.
b) I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my drink.
c) I used to have a drug problem but now I make enough money.

Who was it that said, "It is better to be hated for what one is than to be loved for what one isn’t"?
a) Canada's former Conservative Minister of Foreign Affairs John Baird.
b) Ricky Martin.
c) Writer André Gide.

Who was it that said, "Honey, I’m more man than you’ll ever be and more woman than you’ll ever get"?
a) Canada's former Conservative Minister of Foreign Affairs John Baird.
b) Queen Latifah.
c) Actor Antonio Fargas in the film Car Wash.

Antonio Fargas as the flaming Lindy in the movie Carwash

Bitch Number One walks past and slaps Bitch Number Two in the face. You…
a) Keep walking.
b) Were the one who started it. 
c) Toss them weapons and appoint yourself referee.

Which character do you most resemble from the classic TV sitcom Will & Grace?
a) Will or Grace.
b) Jack.
c) Karen.

How important is your appearance?
a) Well, as long as you can’t smell me.
b) Pass me the Preparation H.
c) I paid too much for this nose for it to be not important!

 You tell your lover, "Watersports sounds like fun but…"
a) I don’t feel like driving to the waterpark in St-Sauveur.
b) We’ve never been able to afford Club Med.
c) Wait a few minutes whilst I down a few lagers.

Which was the biggest orgy in history?
a) Michael Jackson’s last sleepover.
b) Rome’s Bacchanalian parties during the second century BC.
c) Your pre-Pride parade "underwear" cocktail party at home.

Love is:
a) The sweetest thing, darling, the one and only thing.
b) Fine for a couple of years, but after that it’s a bit like flogging a dead horse, isn’t it?
c) Just another four-letter word.

So just how fabulous are you?

Score one point for every letter A you answered, two points for every letter B and three points for every letter C. If you scored 15-24 points: You’re either a has-been or a never-was. You should get out more often. If you scored 25-38 points: Not bad. But remember, if you’ve never spat in the face of a maître d’, then you just haven’t lived, baby. If you scored 39-45 points: Roll out the red carpet, the paparazzi are at the ready and you’re a star, baby! You’re selfish, arrogant and morally corrupt. Well done!


Sunday, 7 October 2012


Martha Wash performs It's Raining Men with Paul Shaffer on the October 1, 2012, broadcast of The Late Show with David Letterman, to mark the classic song's 30th anniversary (All photos courtesy Late Show with David Letterman)
There are great voices and then there is the voice of legendary dance diva Martha Wash, whose soaring powerhouse vocals propelled such classic hits as Everybody Dance Now, Gonna Make You Sweat and It’s Raining Men to the top of the charts worldwide.

Wash and her late friend Izora Armstead shot to international fame as Two Tons of Fun singing backup on great gay disco superstar Sylvester’s disco classics You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real) and Dance (Disco Heat) which both peaked at number one for six consecutive weeks in 1978. 

By 1982, Wash and Armstead renamed themselves The Weathergirls, went solo and recorded one of the most difficult-ever songs to sing, It’s Raining Men – and they did it in 90 minutes flat.

Then Paul Jabara, who co-wrote the song with Canadian Paul Shaffer of David Letterman fame, started pounding the pavement: "He took acetates to all the DJs at all the clubs where it became a big hit before radio picked it up," Martha told me.

Filming the song’s memorable video – it featured hunky bodybuilders falling from the sky – was difficult.

"God, that was a cheesy video!" Martha laughs. "We filmed it in an abandoned building [in NYC] in the dead of winter. There was no heat and everybody was wearing [winter] coats. That part in the video where we fall out of the sky, well, we landed on these mattresses and found out [the next day] they were infested with bugs. For days afterwards Izora and I were scratching [ourselves]! It was awful!"

It's Raining Men turned 30 years old this past week (Tweeted Martha, "Over 7 Mill sold and 30 yrs later Columbia Rec awards me with a plat plaque for It's Raining Men") and to mark the occasion she sang it live with Paul Shaffer on The Late Show with David Letterman (watch the original video as well as the Letterman 30th anniversary clip below).

"People used to say ‘disco sucks’ and ‘disco died’ but they still keep playing it," Martha says happily. "Today they call it dance music, but it’s still the same. It’s happy music. And as long as people want to keep on dancing, I’ll keep on singing too!"

Click here for the official Martha Wash website, and here for her official Facebook fan page